


Destiel Port Song Drabbles - Round One

by angelsotherlove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 16:56:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18098381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsotherlove/pseuds/angelsotherlove
Summary: I was given five songs and ten minutes per song to write. Once those minutes were up, I'm done. Even if I was mid word. Each drabble flows together and the song title is listed at the top of each drabble.Words are harsh, especially words spoken in sudden anger. This is the aftermath of those harsh words.





	Destiel Port Song Drabbles - Round One

**Song #16  
Can’t Hold Us – Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis**

 

Dean leaned against the table, arms crossed and eyes slitted as he watched Cas move about the room. They had both been silent for a while now, the roar from their earlier fight settling about them though neither one of them was willing to be the first one to speak. Why would they? The words that had been tossed about so carelessly had been brutal. Words that were meant to cut deeply and do damage and they had done just that. Dean was pretty sure that several dishes now lay in pieces on the floor but he couldn’t be arsed to move and find out if it was plates that had been broken or something more. 

How the fight had started he wasn’t entirely sure but he would be damned before he made the first move. He had come home, foul mood after a bad day and something about the way Cas had looked had just set him off and rather than going into another room and locking himself away as he was prone to do when one of these moods overcame him he had gone in search of the other man, finding him sitting quietly with his nose in a book and something about him sitting there calmly, his eyes roaming across the pages at a speed that Dean couldn’t process properly before turning the page had set Dean off and before he knew it he had been across the room, ripping the book out of Cas’ hands and demanding to know what he was doing.

It was petty of him, having picked a fight like that but things hadn’t been well between them for a while now. Both of them had been tiptoeing, walking on egg shells and it had only been a matter of time before what had been building leaked over and exploded.

_“Return my book, Dean. You may desire a fight today but I do not. Return my book and find your way into another room. Perhaps the kitchen where your precious beer is located would be a better place for you to be at the moment and not standing in front of me and huffing like a child.”_ Cas’ words had stung but really, if Dean hadn’t been in such a foul mood he would have known that Cas was right. Standing there and picking a fight like he had hadn’t been the best of ideas but Dean hadn’t cared at that moment. All he had wanted to do was fight and he was going to get that fight one way or another.

_“Fuck the kitchen. I don’t want to be there. I want to be here. Right where I’m standing. I’m not a child and you can’t tell me where to go or what to do like I am. Why don’t you go into the kitchen-“_  
~*~*~

**Song #28  
Little Do You Know – Alex and Sierra**

So many words had gone unsaid. Words that should have been said but had been tamped down and kept locked up deep inside and now it was too late. They had both been so stubborn, so damn stubborn and now it was too late to make amends and to makes things better. 

Cas sighed softly as he stared down into the box that held his meager belongings. He had hoped that Dean would have broken first. That after that stupid and inane fight that had resulted in ugly words, even uglier actions and slammed doors that he would have said something. IN the past he had always come to Cas, always apologized and they had always made up but this time was different. He had no idea why but even as the silence had settled around him that night he had known that this fight was different from the others.  
That had been six weeks ago and Cas had come to the conclusion that things were not going to better and so he had taken the cowards way out. While Dean was at work he had set about packing his things. Neither one of them was willing to bend or break and Cas wasn’t willing to perform this task with Dean standing there and watching. He knew that if Dean did such a thing that he would break under that gaze. Those green eyes that held his whole world, that were his whole world. Cas had always been weak where they were concerned and if they were watching him pack, if they were watching him take his things from the drawers and slowly fold them before placing them in the box and watching him as he packed up the books that had sat on the bedside table for so long that he would break. He would turn and beg and plead and do his best to make things better even though this hadn’t been his fault. The attempt had been made in the days leading up to the fight to find out what was wrong with Dean. Cas had noticed his foul mood and had seen it getting darker and darker and much more pronounced but every attempt he had made had been brushed off and brushed aside and eventually he had just stopped trying. If Dean wanted to talk he would and if he didn’t, well his not wanting to talk was what had led to this.

Cas was grateful for Dean not being present as he placed a picture frame inside of the box, not being able to contain the shuddering breath that came with his staring at the photo. It was one of the first ones he had ever taken of Dean. The smile on his face bright enough to light up the entire world and so real that it had melted Cas the moment he had seen it. In the days to follow Cas had made it mission to see it as often as he could. Getting Dean to smile though wasn’t an easy task but after a while it came easier and easier and Cas’ phone was filled with photo after photo of Dean’s smile. The way his eyes crinkled, the glow that came from within. He had never seen anything so beautiful or gorgeous before and as he tucked the photo safely into the box he was certain that he would never see such a thing ever again.  
~*~*~

**Song #54  
The Other Side – The Greatest Showman Cast**

_Stupid, stupid man._ The thought was a mantra that ran through Dean’s head as the houses flew past in a blur, the rumble of baby’s engine soothing but only just. It did absolutely nothing though for the stone that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach for days. Why did he have to be so damn prideful? He should have just sucked it up, apologized to Cas and enjoyed the makeup that would have come with those words. He and Cas were beyond good together and some fucked up mood had caused him to go and fuck all of that up. Now he was driving hours in hopes that things could be repaired. He wouldn’t have blamed Cas though if when he finally opened the door he immediately slammed it in Dean’s face and refused to see him. That was his right after the shit that Dean had been.

He still couldn’t explain why he had said the things he had. Why he had told Cas that he was miserable, that they had gotten stale and that he was bored and wanted something more. They had started fighting and before he had known it the words had been screamed at an inhuman volume, the look that had immediately appeared on Cas’ face had been a blow to Dean’s gut but they were out, they had been spoken and there was no taking them back. In that precise moment Dean had known immense guilt and remorse but before he could apologize, before he could reach out and take Cas’ hand or apologize, the other man had disappeared. The door closing softly with a quiet click had been worse than if he had slammed it.

Even worse was coming home from work to find the house dark, cold and all of the normal things just slightly off. The book that Cas had been reading was gone from the table. As were the shoes that had sat neatly by the door, his boyfriend refusing to wear shoes in the house because it would ruin the carpet. As he had moved further into the house it began to dawn on Dean what had happened as things started jumping out him. Things he had always taken for granted and hadn’t noticed until now when they were gone. And with those things had gone Cas. The final nail in the coffin had been finding all of the drawers in their dresser open, his things still present but Cas’ gone. Immediately his phone was in his hand thought it had been useless. Every time he dialed the number just went straight to voicemail. Dean had tried for hours to get through to Cas before starting with his brothers. Michael and Lucifer had immediately hung up on him. The latter after telling Dean good riddance, Cas was better off without him. It wasn’t until Gabriel picked up that Dean finally  
~*~*~

**Song #82  
Touch the Sky – Brave soundtrack**

Castiel hadn’t known where he was going when he had left. He had simply loaded his things into his car, left his key on the table just inside of the door and left. It wasn’t until he was staring into Gabriel’s face that he realized where he had gone. There was something inside of him, something almost primal that had taken over. Something that had driven his car – houses, trees and open spaces flying past – and thankfully had delivered him to his only sensible brother safely. He didn’t even want to imagine how the conversation would have gone had he ended up on Michael or god forbid Lucifer’s doorsteps. He most certainly would have gotten an earful. Luckily Gabriel had simply sighed heavily at him and opened the door and silently beckoned him inside.

That had been almost a week ago. In that time Cas had spent a great deal of time outside, wrapped up in the quilt that their mother had made for Gabriel, listening to the sound of the birds and the quietness of nature. He envied Gabriel for his home in the woods. It was beyond peaceful and it made for the perfect destination when running away from everything you had ever held dear. Gabriel hadn’t pried. Not at first anyhow. Instead he had sat next to Cas, a beer in one hand for himself and a glass of scotch in the other for Cas and they had drank themselves silly until one night Cas had finally broke.

He had been holding it all in for what had felt like forever but he couldn’t any longer. The whole story had come out through tears and screams and when it was all said and done Cas just felt numb. He had run. Foolishly without even thinking he had fled and now his brother was going to judge him for it. At least that was what Cas had thought would happen. Instead Gabriel had simply patted him on the shoulder, told him that he had informed Dean where Cas was when he called and said told him he couldn’t run from his life. He needed to have it out with Dean and either break things off for good or go home to his boyfriend cause his house wasn’t a home for wayward and love sick brothers.  
~*~*~

**Song #89  
Little Toy Guns –Carrie Underwood**

Dean stared at him through slitted eyes, watching him move around the room slowly as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. Gabriel had let him in when he arrived but begrudgingly and with the warning that if he made Cas cry again Gabriel would murder him and without a second thought given to the action. Something in Dean had him believing the other man and it had left him giving Gabriel a second glance as he ascended the stairs, heading towards the door that he had been pointed in. Cas’ greeting had been almost as cold but Dean had expected it. Words were a weapon, harsh and fierce and Dean had wielded them as fiercely as anyone could. Unlike toys though they had hurt. They had cut deeply and they had sent Cas – the one good thing left in his life – running and fleeing as fast as he could. What Dean wouldn’t give to have the ability to take them back. To scrub them from Cas’ mind and make it so that he had never said them but the real world didn’t work like that. He was going to have to apologize and hovering in the doorway like he was wasn’t going to accomplish that. 

Pushing off of the wooden frame he stepped into the room, the door closing with a soft click as the lock slid into place. The last thing he needed was for Gabriel to come barging in while he tried to fix this. If Cas tossed him out on his ass that would be a different story but Dean was hoping against all hopes that the wouldn’t be the case.  
Crossing the room he placed a hand on the other man’s arm, the body tensing beneath his touch was like a slap to the face. He didn’t think Cas had ever tensed beneath his touch and now not only had he done that but he had frozen solid like a statue, his breaths coming out in shallow gasps as he stared at what Dean was assumed some random spot on the wall.

“Please look at me. I don’t deserve it, I know that, but gods Cas I need you to look at me. I need you to see what I’m saying. See what I mean when I say what I’m going to.” It felt like years before Cas finally turned to look at him, pale blue ices like chips of ice taking him in but no words were spoken. Fair enough Dean thought as he took a deep breath.  
“Nothing I can say will ever erase the words I said, the words I screamed actually. They’ve been said and regardless of how many times I’ve wished I could take them back that I could erase them and scrub them from your mind so that they would never have been spoken and would never have cut through you like they have, I can’t. I can’t even take them back but I can apologize. I can apologize with everything I have. Something I should have done almost immediately. Instead I let myself wallow and drown in my own misery and foul mood and I took it out on you.” His touch on Cas’ arm tightened as he took a step closer, hoping he wouldn’t be rebuffed or pushed away and when he wasn’t he continued.  
“You are the best thing to have ever happened to me, Cas. Before you I was miserable. I was beyond miserable. I was heading down a path that most certainly was going to end in my death. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what I was hoping for. The recklessness and the carelessness would have ended and with it would have gone all of the pain and misery I was feeling at that time. Sam – Sammy was gone and nothing I did was going to bring him back. All I wanted was to join him, to have all of this come to end and then you came along.”   
~*~*~


End file.
